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Sexual Outlet

helpmeobiwan — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:19:00 +0000

Original post blogged on SickJokes.net.

How I See Things vs. How My Cat Sees Things

helpmeobiwan — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 04:40:00 +0000

Original post blogged on SickJokes.net.

I don't always abandon ship...

helpmeobiwan — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 03:30:00 +0000

But when I do, I try not to trip and fall into the lifeboat.

Original post blogged on SickJokes.net.

Stereotypes are awesome

helpmeobiwan — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 03:47:00 +0000

but only one is a convicted felon.

Original post blogged on SickJokes.net.

Damn, I'm in the wrong joke...

helpmeobiwan — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 04:33:00 +0000

A traveling salesman's car breaks down in the country. He heads for the nearest light, which turns out to be the farmhouse for a local farmer.

"My car has broken down nearby... do you think you could put me up for the night so I can go into town in the morning to get parts?"

The farmer replies, "Sure, but you'll have to sleep the upstairs bedroom, sharing a room with my son."

The salesman says "Damn, I'm in the wrong joke."

Original post blogged on SickJokes.net.

Construction site bet

helpmeobiwan — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 12:29:00 +0000

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special target of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

Original post blogged on SickJokes.net.

TWELVE EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING FACTS ABOUT POPULAR MUSIC

helpmeobiwan — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 03:17:00 +0000

1. Creed has sold more records in the U.S. than Jimi Hendrix

2. Led Zepplin, R.E.M. and Depeche Mode have never had a number one single. Rihanna has had 10

3. Ke$ha's "Tik-Tok" has sold more copies than any Beatles single ever.

4. Flo Rida's "Low" has sold 8 million copies - the same as The Beatles "Hey Jude"

5. The Black Eyed Peas "Ive got a feeling" is more popular than any Simon & Garfunkel or Elvis song.

6. Celine Dion's “Falling Into You” sold more copies than any Queen, Nirvana, or Bruce Springsteen record.

7. Same with Shania Twain's “Come On Over”

8. Katy Perry holds the same record as Michael Jackson for most number one singles from an album.

9. Barbra Streisand has sold more records (140 million) than Pearl Jam, Johnny Cash, and Tom Petty combined.

10. People actually bought Billy Ray Cyrus' album “Some Gave All…” 20 million people. More than any Bob Marley album.

11. The cast of “Glee” has had more songs chart than the Beatles.

12. Justin Beiber exists.

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Amazing Video: 'Jet Man' stunts alongside fighter jets over Alps

helpmeobiwan — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 03:19:00 +0000

Not a sick joke, but this is f'n cool.

Original post blogged on SickJokes.net.