Ted Kennedy has a heart attack and dies. He goes straight to hell where he runs into the Devil, who's obviously been waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the Devil. "You're clearly on my list, but we're all filled up - I've got no room for you. I can't exactly let you go, can I?" The Devil scratches himself with his tail for a moment and comes up with plan.

"I've got three folks here who weren't QUITE as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you'll have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Ted thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. Tricky Dick kept diving in, over and over and over, surfacing empty-handed. Such was his fate in hell.

"No!" said Ted. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room: in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Ted.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, Ted saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose.

Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Ted looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, THIS I can handle."

The devil smiled.

"OK, Monica, you're free to go!"