SickJokes.net

But when I do, I try not to trip and fall into the lifeboat.

but only one is a convicted felon.

A traveling salesman's car breaks down in the country. He heads for the nearest light, which turns out to be the farmhouse for a local farmer.

"My car has broken down nearby... do you think you could put me up for the night so I can go into town in the morning to get parts?"

The farmer replies, "Sure, but you'll have to sleep the upstairs bedroom, sharing a room with my son."

The salesman says "Damn, I'm in the wrong joke."