SickJokes.net

But when I do, I try not to trip and fall into the lifeboat.

but only one is a convicted felon.

A traveling salesman's car breaks down in the country. He heads for the nearest light, which turns out to be the farmhouse for a local farmer.

"My car has broken down nearby... do you think you could put me up for the night so I can go into town in the morning to get parts?"

The farmer replies, "Sure, but you'll have to sleep the upstairs bedroom, sharing a room with my son."

The salesman says "Damn, I'm in the wrong joke."

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special target of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."