SickJokes.net

Ouch... I need to wash my eyes out.

In the spirit of the current No. 1 movie, here are two collections of classic GI Joe parodies.

that's gotta hurt. big fail.

Even if you don't own a dog at present, you'll appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog.
Read the sales pitch!

Dog For Sale

Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighbourhood for him to eat. Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit.'

(thanks to Matt for sending this in)

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'

She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'

'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the
pub with a toast about you, Mary.'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'